Digging deep on behaviour, emotions first and behaviour second? Which do you think comes first, or is it a combination?

Digging deep on behaviour, emotions first and behaviour second? Which do you think comes first, or is it a combination?

As someone who is working to shift the brain fog that covid scarred us with, I’m often intrigued to understand whether individuals think it’s the behavior or emotions that leads. We feel a sensation of fear (for example), and then we behave defensively. Or is it the defensive behaviour that leads and the feelings afterwards?

I’m sue as most people will agree it isnt always a clear-cut, black-and-white process. But what if we can take ownership over our feelings by managing our behaviour as appropriate.

The weather in Scotland isn’t famous for being gentle. We often (as lucky people who call this place home), have to grimace into the rain, hunch our shoulders to protect us from the elements and shiver to warm ourselves up. It would be foolish to consider that these behaviours wouldn’t affect our resulting emotional experience.

So how can this be of relevance when considering our dependents who rely on us? It’s always worth checking in with the actor (behavioural terms) when they do display body language associated with maladaptive behaviours whether they too are experiencing tension in the body as a result of their environment. Is the tail soft and waggy? Is the smile gentle and the shoulders loose? Or is there a view of holding tension in the body which could then leak into the actor's emotional experience?

Personally, as someone who worked in face to face sales for six years I often had to check in with my body to ensure I was able to secure a sale, “fake it till you make it!” and plaster a smile on your face until the resulting emotions did follow from the behaviour.

Teaching your actor to be light hearted and providing opportunities to access the emotions associated with behaviour (like sniffing) is paramount. If, as a caregiver you consistently teach your pet/dependent HOW to access emotions related to behaviour, we will then see a speedier transition into more desirable behaviours which then become part of the actor’s learning history- thus we access behaviour change.

I hope this helps clear things up

R

xxxxx